› Funny Quotes
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Josh Billings
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Erma Bombeck
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Mel Brooks
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
James Brown
I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
Samuel Butler
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
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