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›Not the smartest Idiot!!
Gavin Cole of Dublin got onto a bus with three packets of heroin safely hidden in his pocket. You`d have to be a real idot to take the packets out while sitting right there on the bus with everyone else. He did this because he`s a bonehead! And while this is stupid enough it just happened that the man sitting next to him was an off-duty drug squad officer.
But wait! There`s more. So here he is playing with his heroin next to the officer and his cell phone rings. And the officer heard the following conversation, ``Yeah, I have the stuff. Meet me at the bus station and bring plenty of money!``
But wait! There`s more. Figuring he could just sit back and relax since he was about to make a big deal he lit up a marijuana cigarette. You know the rest.
Bozo Criminal Of The Day KOOI 106.5
- VIA the Bonehead of the Day Awards
›Bush Issue Executive Order gagging Clinton!
In a move that clearly indicates just how frustrated George W. Bush is with the fact that former President Clinton is continuing to dominate the headlines, Bush issued an Executive Order that effectively forces Clinton to stop talking or doing anything that might garner media attention.
The Executive Order issued by Bush requires that Clinton not communicate in public in any way including "talking, writing, use of an electronic device, or pantomime". This prevents Clinton from doing everything from talking to the press to ordering a Big Mac down at the local McDonald`s. If Clinton should decide to flout the law he faces fines of up to $100,000 per syllable. "It`s kind of a reverse speaking fee" said Bush. If the fines do not stop Clinton from talking and "hogging" the nation`s attention, Bush`s order calls for Clinton to be imprisoned for up to 90 days for every sentence or sentence fragment he utters.
"I mean what is this?" said a clearly exasperated Bush at yesterday`s press conference. "I`m the President of the United States! I`m the leader of the most powerful country in the world! But you sure can’t tell that from watching the news. And I`m sure if I read the newspapers it would be the same story; Clinton, Clinton, everywhere Clinton! Night after night Fox News leads off it`s newscast with some tawdry story about the most recent Clinton scandal. Hell, I had to launch an unprovoked attack on Iraq just to get my buddy and fellow Texan, Dan "Poontang" Rather to mention my name on air. Now my Daddy and his cronies didn`t work their tails off getting me elected just to have me ignored. Clinton has got to be stopped!"
Not surprisingly Clinton refused comment on this story since the Executive order issued by Bush has already gone into effect. He was however last seen by the press wearing a t-shirt bearing the phrase "Actions Speak Louder Than Words" and headed into a Holiday Inn accompanied by "supporter" Denise Rich and a cigar
›Chew your food!!
More and more baby food is being consumed by adults. Ten percent of the production of major German baby food manufacturer is sold to households without children. People of all ages and from all walks of life love milk pudding and stewed fruit prepared for babies. Since a serving may have only 100 calories, many weight-conscious adults choose baby food for a snack. Manufacturers cater to the trend by recommending their products for "Young and old" and by providing recipes that include their products.
The German Nutrition Society, however, is not happy about the trend. According to its spokeswoman Anette Braun, grown-ups do not need such specially prepared foods unless they are sick. they should chew their food. "After all, that is why we have teeth."
›To protect self respect!!
An educated woman from Margao city (Panaji, Goa (India)) urinated in the office of the sanitary inspector in Margao in protest against dirty public toilets. She said she urinated in his chamber, in his absence, to make him realize that public toilets were overflowing. The municipality was not cleaning them, though complaints were made to the authorities earlier. The incident sparked off reaction amongst women in the state. Some welcomed the step because they felt that this was one of the ways to answer male-dominated society and politics. Even the Goa Pradesh Congress President Nirmala Sawant appreciated what the woman did to attract the attention of authorities on the eve of the International Women`s Day on Thursday.
A woman has to protect her self respect," Sawant said, calling for more toilets in busy areas so that woman did not face hardships.
›Cool way to conquer fear !
Fan of Titanic star Leonardo DiCaprio, David Blaine, last year buried himself underwater in a plexiglass coffin for a week and survived. Now he encased himself in a six-tonne block of ice and hoped to come out unscathed 58 hours later i.e. two and a half-day.
This was the toughest challenge for Blaine. He would have to remain standing in the block in which his contour was shaped surviving only with a tube to suck water and oxygen. He faced several threats, which include frostbite and the possibility of falling asleep and touching the ice wall. Passerby in New York called him crazy to risk his life.
›Progeny!
Singe Soren, the Woman Sarpanch(Village head) of Badapalasa was unseated because she gave birth to her third child.
According to the Law which came into effect on December 31, 1995; it amounts to disqualification of Municipal Councilors and Panchayat members who produce a third child, and it just took the petition in Mayurbhanj district court to remove Singe from her Sarpanch seat.
Progeny sometimes spoils the political careers.
›Gorilla enjoys brief roam!
cabout 280 pounds, had the run of the park and feasted on bananas and apples, zoo officals said.
But the bid for freedom by the 24-year-old “gentle giant” was ended after about 60 minutes by a tranquilizer dart and minutes later she fell asleep in a nearby men’s room. No-one was hurt or injured in the incident.
›A dead man in jail!
A man was sentenced last week to two years in prison for faking his death three times to beat drunk driving charges.
Peter C. Gentry was first arrested in 1991, but an official looking death certificate sent to authorities said he had died in a Los Angeles auto crash, and the case was dismissed.
In 1994, he was arrested again and sent in another death certificate.
A year later, Gentry was again arrested and supposedly died this time of "denzor hemorrhagic fever" in Africa.
There is no such disease.
›These guns are so safe?
Robert Shovestall, 37, shot himself while explaining gun safety to his wife in Glendale, CA, when he placed a .45-caliber pistol he thought was unloaded under his chin and pulled the trigger.
Shovestall`s wife told police that the incident occurred after her complaints about her husband`s 70 guns prompted him to demonstrate to her they were safe.
›Playing safe!
New York City - Mohammad Rahman, 36, Brooklyn, racked up three accidents on his second day on a new job as a new cab driver.
It all started at 9 a.m. when, cops say, he rammed into a parked car. Rahman said the car rammed into his cab, he even called police to report the accident.
An hour later, Rahman said he paused for a light. He got nervous, though, when the light changed and that cars started to honk while he waited for pedestrians to clear the crosswalk.
"I got confused, and my feet just slipped from the brake to the accelerator," Rhaman said. That`s when he struck a 22-year-old man from New Jersey.
When police showed up and began converging on his cab, Rahman ran into another car. Cops said he was leaving the scene, but he said he was only trying to park his taxi so it wouldn`t block traffic. Rahman is looking for another line of work.
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